Day One

It's tough. I've been overweight my entire life. I can't remember when my first "diet" started. Maybe I was in third grade? I know it was in elementary school. That's rough. Not even 10 years old, and on a "diet" because you're overweight. Weight Watchers. Legalized crack from "doctors." (No, seriously. 2 pills, appetite suppressant and metabolism booster. I ate anything I wanted, Taco Bell, Wendy's... and still lost 10+ pounds a month.) Nutrisystem. You name it, I've probably tried it.

I've always been told, "You have such a pretty face," which is only code for "at least you have that going for you." I want to be more than just a pretty face.

I guess I do have more than just a pretty face. I'm funny as hell, and I know it. You kind of have to be, when you're the fat kid, to combat all the comments and teasing that is tossed at you. It is part of my personality, but it started as a defense mechanism.

I've had a trainer for what seems like forever. 7 years. So why don't I use him? I get KILLER rates with him because we're practically family, so I should be there daily. I don't go, because while he won't ever admit it, I'm a disappointment. He can't want me walking around with his "Results, not Regrets" shirt on, being this overweight. No one wants to go to the trainer that the fat kid has had for 7 years.

Oh, actually, I have two trainers. We also workout 3 days a week at work, which is awesome! I'm so lucky to have a job that brings a trainer in, free of charge to us, to workout (aka kick our ASS!) three days a week.

Oh, and did I mention I am ADDICTED to the Biggest Loser? Or that I watch it while I'm eating pizza, or french fries, or whatever else I want? sigh

It's not that I don't know what to do. That's clearly the insane part. I know exactly what to do. I know what to eat. I've done this my whole life. It's just that sesame chicken and fried rice sounds WAY more delish than grilled salmon and brussel sprouts.

Today, I changed. Today I started TapouT XT, and am committing to myself (and whomever decides to read this), that I'm changing my life.

Today is the last day I will weigh in at 270 pounds. Today is the last day I'll gorge myself on chocolate then regret it 10 minutes later. Today is the last day I will tell myself I can't do something because of my weight.

Today starts the beginning of the rest of my life.